The Scream Heard Around the World

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope you all had a fantastic time celebrating the new year. As you can see I did not let my foot keep me from having fun! I have been able to walk on my foot without any assistance other than my boot since right before Christmas! That was a huge step...ha literally for me. I love not having to lug all the hardware around. I do have to give myself some time to sit down and elevate my foot or else the swelling gets pretty intense. I have noticed that since walking a bruise has formed on the bottom of my foot in the middle of my arch. I talked to the doctor and he said it was fine. There are a lot of ligaments that have not been pulled for a long time and it will take a while before it all works normally again. I also have begun to stand up during a shower! YAY! That is huge! I actually feel semi normal now. My incisions have really started to look a whole lot better. The tape lifts and I cut the excess away so now there is only tape on my three middle toes. I can now see where my scars are going to be but to tell you the truth they really do not look that bad to me. I'm excited for the rest of the tape to fall off soon.

So now that the fun stuff has already been addressed lets get down to the other stuff. I had my appointment to take the pins out of my toes yesterday. I think of all the appointments, this was the appointment I was the most apprehensive of. My husband almost had to drag me out of the house. I did make sure to take a pain pill thirty minutes before we left the house. They called me back, took four x-rays of my foot in different positions and then took me to the room. They asked how I was doing, took my vitals, and let me watch TV for all of two minutes before the doctor came in. He then told me he would first numb the area. PAUSE. I could not believe my ears! I asked him again to make sure I heard him correctly. He totally told me in a previous appointment that he does not numb patients for this procedure. Now all of a sudden the gloomy clouds are lifted and I hear angels singing in the background! My anxiety is GONE! I'm ecstatic that I will have a numb foot for this whole thing! PLAY. Yea, so all of that wonderfulness is about to end...really fast. First they have to numb my toes. Needles...not so fun. But I handled it pretty well...I thought. Then I prepared myself for the first pin. The one closest to my pinky toe. You can see the pin in this picture.

 I grabbed my husband's arm and tightened my eyes shut! Then...there was the scream heard round the world.

OH MY LORD ALMIGHTY! That was horrible! I cursed and screamed and cried! The doctor (trying to be funny) said ok now there will be a five dollar fee for every curse word used in the office. I replied ever so feverishly "Put it on my tab." without even a trace of a smile. She pulled so hard and fast! I felt my toe pop...you know like when you pop your knuckles? Yea but I mean this was my previously broken toe that was popping! I was inconsolable. Then it was time for the second pin...this time she went for the toe closest to my great toe. You can also see that pin in the above photo. OH MY LORD ALMIGHTY! It did not get better the second time. There was no popping but I was still screaming and crying and cursing under my breath! The room was spinning and everything was pissing me off! Finally we were ready for the third toe. Yep...there is a third toe...I know hard to believe since you cant see the third pin...that is because it is DEEP IN THERE! The woman had to DIG WITH THE TWEEZERS! I almost crawled off the bed. I pulled away from her I know at least three times. I almost told them to leave it in there. They finally decided to numb that toe more. I recon it was because they could see I was in a lot of pain. That shot went deep...and I cried even more just from the shot. Finally she went for it and I grabbed so hard on my husband's arm I thought I might rip it off but I made it through the final pull.  The nurse wrapped the toes up and now this is how they look.

Dear Heavens! I don't know how I made it but I did. I went to walk out and I couldn't stop crying. I felt like I just had my three toes broken. Doctor H saw me in the hall and asked why I was crying. I managed to get it together enough to let him know that my toe was still really hurting. He let me know that if I had pain like that the next morning to call him and he would give me some better meds.

Well people it is the next morning. The call has been made. I am waiting for my return phone call. This is horrible! I do not think I will get my three hammer toes corrected the next time. This hurts worse than my whole surgery did. I did get to keep the pins though!

      I was told not to soak them for seven days since it is a hole that is straight down through my bones. I have to clean the tips with rubbing alcohol and then put neosporin in the hole at the end of my toe. Fun. Now I'm just waiting for my husband to bring this fun stuff home so I can take the bandages off.  

Merry Christmas to All!

So I am doing much better! I have actually begun putting weight on my foot! It started out of frustration and being tired of using my crutches while out shopping. If I had to describe how walking feels, it feels like sharp needles poking at the bottom of my foot at first, as I walk more the tendons and ligaments are loosened up a little. I always have to begin my walking with at least one crutch but then once my foot loosens up usually five minutes later I can put both the crutches down and walk without any assistance of a crutch. My foot usually feels sore but it is never too bad that I would take the crutches back. I walk very slow soo people behind me tend to get frustrated when I am out and about...what do I say to them? Oh well. Yep they can get over it and have a little pacience.

Word from the wise...people ignore you when you use the electric scooters in shopping stores. They do not even see you and they will NOT move out of your way. Use these machines at your own risk. Lol

Feet are still loosing skin so that is something fun to deal with every day. I can take a shower with much more grace than before. I can sometimes wiggle my toes...trust me it grosses me out. I am so looking forward to all of this tape falling off! Tomorrow my husband and I will begin our half cross country road trip to see family for the holidays! Y'all have a blessed Christmas!

OUCH!

Long story short, I fell over my scooter thing and just out of instinct I put my hurt foot down. I had ALL of my weight on that thing. Needless to say I screamed and cried for about thirty minutes before I could get a grip on the situation. UGH! I have been doing so good! I think that I should be fine seeing as my doctor did tell me I could start to walk on it. I was also wearing the boot like I have been told to do. Whew. I'm still going to call to make sure they won't want me to get x-rays. Other than that I have really been trying to put weight on my foot. I am getting better at pushing down on my heel. YAY! Small steps forward are still improvements! I'm not giving up! I can do this!

 

Escape From Castle "Cabin Fever"

I got out today! YEA! It was all thanks to a wonderful friend of mine. She took me to a doctor's appointment and then we went shopping for Christmas stuff. The day was wonderful. I was up and moving around from 10:00am till 4:30pm. Needless to say all that being on my feet made my foot swell. I'm still resting it and it's almost seven thirty. My foot is so sensitive to touch now. When I just rub the top of my foot I can feel the nerve endings tingle throughout my foot...weird...uncomfortable. Just a sock resting on it irritates the skin. I wonder if it is because my skin is so tight or if it is simply because nothing has touched it in a few weeks now. I don't know if I told you this in the last post or not but I can definitely tell that my nerves are getting better. I used to only feel down right past my ankle. The feeling has now spread down almost half way of the length of my foot. YAY! I did make sure to take my vitamins today with my big glass of water. I managed to set up my Christmas Tree and pick my living room up. The house looks so much better.

I noticed I posted an updated picture of the back of my heel but I never talked about it. The pain has subsided from my heel and as you can see it is getting darker. I don't know if that is a sign of it getting worse or better. I figure no pain means it is getting better. I'm still keeping an eye out on that though.

Sleeping SUCKS! Seriously, it is middle of December and every bone in my body wants to be covered by a plush blanket...every bone that is except my bones in my foot. I have just enough feeling in my toes to know that they are cold and just enough feeling in my toes to feel like the blanket is crushing down on each of my little tootsies. I hate it. I get so frustrated just with that simple task that it keeps me up at least another hour until my body is too tired to fight for the blanket to be removed. Laying on my side also helps some, until I can feel the broken bones on each side of my foot throbbing. NORMAL SLEEP WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?!  

I took a shower yesterday. Yea...standing ovations are welcome. I was terrified! I waited till later in the day so that hopefully my incisions would have time to kinda air out and maybe dry. I did not let water pour directly over my foot. The splashes and misting from the shower head were enough to make it glossy with water. I was able to keep warmer since I could fully close the door...if you are having a procedure done...seriously think about stuff like that...weather makes a difference. I scrubbed softly (if you just go at it scrubbing it kinda burns) along the top half of my foot (no incisions are at this location). I didn't notice the typically expected dead skin sloughing off. It did feel good to know I was able to wash my foot though. After the shower I was then terrified to put that dagum sock back on. I only wear tight socks that go to my ankle. I couldn't pull the sock all the way over my heel because it would pull to tightly against my toes. Yep...you guessed it...made sleeping super peaceful...not. I did manage to find a few socks today that will be loose enough and long enough to make this more comfortable.

Well that is all for today. Please if you have any questions feel free to leave it below my posts.    

3 Weeks Healing

I am so sorry that I haven't written in a long time. I really was struggling with finding something to talk about. I can now let you know that I have a lot to talk about. Today marks three weeks since the surgery date. I was able to take the wrap off my foot today. It was so freeing to be able to take that thing off and not have to worry about putting anything back on. I can also take a somewhat normal shower today. I can't let my foot soak but still I can get it wet and clean around my foot. SUPER EXCITED! Almost there to a normal shower. Here is how my foot looks now. Keep in mind it has been bandaged for three weeks and it is lacking in the moisture department. 

It is definitely swollen but come on I had a lot of stuff done to it. I would be shocked if it wasn't. I also took a shot of what the bottom of my foot looks like. It looks less Frankenstein and more bruised. I still can't believe how different my new foot looks. My mom even commented on how much it looks like her feet now. My foot is still kinda numb. I can't feel my great toe...like...at all. It is super weird and I gotta admit I'm kinda freaking out about it. I read another woman's log that said after a year she still couldn't feel her great toe. I'm hoping that was because her body was not good at regenerating itself or because she didn't have a great doctor who prescribed me some personally made vitamin supplements for me to take. Here they are!

I take two of these pills once a day with an eight ounce glass of water. From what I understand about these puppies, they are vitamins that will help with the regenerating of nerves and it also helps deal with pain. Today is my first day of taking them and I'll let you know how it goes from there. The list on the bottle is all of the stuff it has in it. 

My pain is pretty bearable. It gets very tight during the night so I take a pain pill before I fall asleep. I'm planning on beginning to put weight on it tomorrow. I need to start moving my joints. I feel really sore in my ankle. When I rub the joint I can feel the ligaments pulling down in my toes. That is not so pleasant so I usually only massage my foot for a few minutes before I can't take it anymore. 

I have to eventually get the courage to put a sock around my foot before bed tonight. I know it sounds so simple but the second my incisions catch on any fabric it is a nightmare. I have so many incisions and pins that it is almost impossible to avoid at least one.

On different news, MY HOUSE IS A WRECK! Seriously. I have started trying to get a few rooms freashened up every day. I miss being able to vacuum my floors, mop my kitchen, wash my sinks, and wash my clothes! I am going to have some serious catching up to do. Until then I can only focus on what I am able to take care of for now. I need to allow myself to recover fully before I push myself too far and then mess up my recovery.

I'll try to keep sure I don't abandon y'all for long.

 

 

So Not Excited About This

Here I am, so ready for this awesome wonderful experience. After the bandage was removed I had a quick talk with Dr. H. There was another guy that came into the room with him. I thought he was a student doing some observations. Dr. H let me know that I needed to keep pressure off of the back of my heel and that he would wrap my foot himself this time. He pressed up against the bottom of my foot to see it better and I thought I was going to scream. The pressure he put on the pad of my foot really helped me realize that my foot was STILL BROKEN. Dr. H then left the room and then the nurse began to remove the strips. This felt like my foot was on FIRE! And now on to the really good stuff.

(This is the sore that is on top of my foot. Man I have them EVERYWHERE!)

She let me know that the two sides tend to hurt the worse because the stitch has to come all the way through the long incision. She started with my toes first and I'm not kidding you I was trying my hardest not to scream in that office. I was cursing under my breath and crying. It was horrible. I finally asked her if we could take a couple minutes and she was great. She waited until I said I was ready to continue. Trust me I thought about calling it quits and saying that I would come back another day for the others.

This is me trying to hold it together. When she went to grab the incision for the Tailor's Bunion I screamed so loud! Another nurse came in just to help hold my leg down so that I wouldn't jerk it away from her. Needless to say I eventually made it through the last one and not a second too soon.

The next appointment will be January 2nd. I was told to begin putting weight on my foot but that I have to keep wearing the boot. I can take the bandage off next Thursday and I can get it wet but not soak it. YAY! The other guy in the room ended up being someone who works with a pharmacy. He is going to send me some supplements to help with my nerve regeneration and pain. I will also be getting a scar cream and a pain cream. I hit the jackpot!

So glad that horrible part is over.

 

Let's Play a Game of Mystery Diagnosis...

So, my foot needless to say is not doing any better. As you can see in the picture it looks worse than a couple of days ago and I'm starting to see a blister forming. After taking this marvelous photograph and waiting for the wonderful assistants of Dr. H to get back from their lunch break, I made a phone call. I let the nurse know that I had a sore forming on the back of my heel. She followed normal protocol and let me know that Dr. H would call me back shortly. When Dr. H did call me back he asked what was wrong. Then he told me that he wasn't worried as long as it wasn't open. Well that was a relief, I'm so glad my doctor doesn't feel worried about a sore that is getting worse with each passing day, at least not until the thing becomes an open and festered wound! I feel safe! (For those of you who do not know me well, this is what my sarcasm sounds like) He then told me that I am not supposed to be putting weight on my foot yet, like it was caused from me walking on it! I told him I was not putting ANY weight on my foot and that it was not on the bottom of my heel but around my Achilles Tendon where the nurse wrapped a bandage really tight and where I rest my foot when it is elevated. As if he hasn't already put the blame of the sore on me enough, he asked why I was messing with the bandage. I told him I hadn't messed with the bandage but that I could see red forming around the part of my heel that was exposed. Eventually I just told him that he could look at it tomorrow during my next scheduled appointment and that I just wanted to know if resting my foot to the side would cause any damage to the surgery site for my Tailor's Bunion. He said it wouldn't cause damage and he would look at the heel tomorrow. Gosh! This guy is ridiculous! So now I lay on my side and get SOME relief from this sore on my heel. Other than that exciting conversation, not much has changed. A wonderful friend picked me up today and took me to lunch. I really needed some time out of the house. Chick-fil-a has magical sweet tea that can make anything better. We then took a nice stroll through our local Walmart and that was enough excitement for me. As far as how my foot feels today (other than my heel) I do not feel any bone pain, I have taken no pain medication, my foot feels very tight, the incisions feel like someone is either poking them with many tiny pins or someone is ripping duck tape off of my skin repeatedly, and I also get this goose-bump feeling under the bandages that is followed quickly by a cool almost wet feeling. Other than that nothing new.  I have been feeling under the weather today. I feel very nauseous. It can't be from medication because I haven't taken anything since 8:00am. Who knows?

I can't wait to have new news for you tomorrow and pictures of what the incisions look like once the stitches are taken out.